I Said Yes!
After hanging up the phone, it hit me. I had just agreed to be a featured guest for one of the four tapings of “Living Right with Dr. Ray” shows filmed in Kansas City for EWTN. What was I thinking? Why me? I’m certain they could have found others better suited than me for this gig.
I’ve spoken in front of small audiences, but this is different. This Saturday night primetime show is broadcast throughout the United States and Canada. Oh wait! I think he said international! Did he say 114 counties in twelve languages or 112 countries in 14 languages? I had to laugh. After shirking foreign languages in my curriculum, my French friends will be able to understand me!
Shared excerpts from my unfinished manuscript and then an in-person conversation led me to this ask. Although commitment to writing comes with a necessity to speak, I hadn’t quite imagined the cart arriving before the horse. The scary part is that I said ‘yes’ without hesitation.
Prepared? Probably not. Passionate? Absolutely. After all, isn’t that the way God chooses to qualify the called rather than call the qualified?
Dr Ray’s producer reassured me that this would be like sitting with a friend asking questions about a subject I obviously have no loss for words.
I was okay until the week beforehand when I had a little bout with vanity. Two outfits as instructed – check. Make-up – check. Two pairs of shoes – check. Blowout scheduled – check. False eyelashes – check. I was never made out to be a glamor girl, but I assumed I had it together. Or at least I thought so.
Before the pre-show meeting, the meltdown began with my eye twitching as glue gave way on one of those false lashes. Infuriated, I yanked them both off. I had forgotten both pairs of new shoes back at the hotel. I looked in the mirror and thought, ‘I should have had my eyebrows lifted – I look old – I should have gone on a diet.’ I questioned myself yet again and wondered, “why did I say yes?”
Then I realized, all the unnerving stuff I worry about, has nothing to do with what God called me to do. This is not and never has been about me. God planted the ‘yes’ in my heart. He has made the ‘why’ abundantly clear. In spite of all my fears, it is about just one. If one person is made stronger, if one person is inspired, if one person finds peace and a way forward, this is all worth it.
Frank taught me this. When you don’t say yes, nothing happens. No one benefits. And when you do say yes, the ones you are serving are not rooting for your failure. So, let’s hope for the best.
