Missing

Perching in the company of each individual she talked to, she slowly wove her way through the crowd like a dragonfly with an extra set of angels wings. Every conversation seemed to be as important as the other. I know the value she places on each of her multitude of friendships. She’s my daughter.

Through my husband’s lengthy illness, she became my date to these functions. Yet I share her and can’t help but be pleased about the way she understands the treasure of life. Wife and mother, as I watch her pass through her 30’s, I see wisdom beginning to grow on her. 

In the days following the event, I heard from at least three people speaking of how she exuberates life and spoke of how she is one of the rare ones that truly care about their story, their life. One of them even said “the world is a better place with her in it.”

“What some had seen as a war for a few, has brought most of us into the dilemma of having to take a stance with our opinions – and made us ask the serious question of how we came to foster our beliefs.”

Since the overturn of Roe vs. Wade, personal consciousness has come into question. Suddenly, priorities are being gut checked and many are a bit uncomfortable.  What some had seen as a war for a few, has brought most of us into the dilemma of having to take a stance with our opinions – and made us ask the serious question of how we came to foster our beliefs.

At the same time the compliments come for my daughter, social media is on fire with opinions from both sides. To my painful dismay, one of the more fired up FB posters is the same person who had delivered heartfelt accolades. Though I scroll on by, her overpowering shouts of supposed injustice, strike like daggers to my heart. As she squeals and lists the reasons every pregnancy should be planned, I truly want to reply information I rarely speak of, but I refuse to engage.

The breaking point came the other day when I made an off the cuff remark to a friend of my daughter’s. I didn’t think she is pro-choice, but her reply created doubt. “No comment.” I was stunned. I later asked my daughter what gives with her? She said that she had a friend who was in an abusive relationship and for her to go through a pregnancy would have been beyond devastating. She told my daughter that she chooses to support her friend’s decision.

Dumbfounded, I said, “Megan, doesn’t she know about you? Doesn’t she know how close you came to being that baby?”

You see, I too was in an abusive relationship. I had been pressured heavily by her biological father and his family to abort.

My father had somewhat disowned me years before by the comment, “You made your bed, you sleep in it.” I didn’t think I had anywhere to go. I was scared, alone, and had no idea what to do. Luckily, something told me, the life I was messing with, wasn’t just mine.

I went to the people that would protect me and my child, starting with my mother and then an obstetrician who happened to be pro-life. That decision not only saved my daughter’s life, but mine as well. My father who kept a running list of all my life mistakes, never once said this was one of them. I found the strength to leave the abuse. I found a career instead of a job. I found independence. I found that love without sacrifice is nothing more than infatuation.

“Things were hard, but loving was better.” 

I am not saying that life was suddenly made easy. There were no words of ‘Congratulations’ regarding my pregnancy. There were no baby showers. Things were hard, but loving was better.

Granted, my daughter is not a ‘Tim Tebow’ that came to birth in spite of a doctors’ negative prognosis, or a ‘Steph Curry’ that was born in unpromising circumstances. But her positive influence matters too. I’ve come to know other ‘unplanned’ young people. I often see them as the sower of good seeds. They are the ones helping the grandparents, offering assistance instead of demanding fulfillment. I looked at her while thinking of the others that have truly been a missing link which indeed make the world a better place.

My mind flashed. I thought ‘what if she wasn’t here? What if she had never been here? What would her friends be like if her listening ear and precious time wasn’t there in periods of crisis? Would I had ever found my strength or would have I died in my bad circumstance?’

Most of us can agree that society is much different than it used to be and not in a good way at all. Something is missing.  Souls are missing. People come into our life, often making a noticeable impact by the influence of time. Unfortunately, we have chosen to adapt the belief what is not convenient is not worthy.

“Those whose mere existence in a time and space teach us the greatest of lessons. Life introduces life.”

In both big and little ways, our lives hold instrumental influence to those we connect with. We must quit making predisposed interpretations on who is valuable. What if that one person, was intended to be the key to make someone respond and laugh rather than sink further into depression. What if that one person had the smile that changed everything for somebody?

Yes, life is hard. But joy also exists in the arbitrary. Seek respect for one another, value life and it will come back to you abundantly. God’s plan is indeed better than our own. I have proof. It is in the eyes of my grandchildren.